How The Rare Hunters Got Their Outfits
by YamiMisao
Summary: Ever wonder how, exactly, the rare hunters got their outfits? I mean, come on you can't find long purple robes with egyptian eye's and chains on them just anywere. See the horrors Malik had to go through...


Misao: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! And I also don't own some of the phrases used in this fic! This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh fan fic, I hope you guys like it. I was watching Yu-Gi-Oh this morning, and then I started wondering; how did the rare hunters get their outfits? Stupid questions like that always seem to pop up in my head. So then I got this idea and had to write it!

"**_How the Rare Hunters got their Outfits"_**

"Master Malik, shouldn't we be heading to Battle City?" Rishid asked as he followed Malik through the mall.

"We'll get there in time, but first I need to take care of something." Malik replied, pushing past the swarms of people that crowded the hallways.

"In the Mall?" Rishid asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes in the Mall! Have you seen the Rare Hunters? Do they _really_ look like a team to you? We need to find an outfit that says something, that will make them look like more then a group of butt-ugly drug dealers." Malik explained before coming to an abrupt stop in front of a store with a large selection of clothes hanging on display in the window, "This place should do, come on Rishid."

As soon as they entered the store, they were greeted by a tall man with blond feathered back hair, a double chin, with a plastic smile and an angular, thin pointy nose in a business suit, with a measuring tape draped around his neck, "Can I help you two fine looking young men?"

"Umm…yeah…I'm looking for an outfit that kind of makes you stand out. But not really bright colors, it's gotta kind of give of a warning you know? Ah, crap I don't know how to explain it." Malik groaned, it all made since in his head, but he couldn't put it into words.

"I've got a fabulous mantage of new fall colors that's designed for the slim male physique that would do wonders for you." The man said in an over the top gay voice.

"Err…ok." Malik shrugged.

"Fabulous! Now follow me." The man chirped and led them to the back room.

Malik leaned over to Rishid "Do you have any clue what he just said?" Malik whispered.

"No. But don't you? You did agree after all…" Rishid pointed out.

"That's cause he used big words and it sounded good." Malik told him.

"Now stand there." The man instructed, pointing to a spot in the middle of the small room. Malik hesitated, but then did so as the man continued to talk, "My name is Charley, but you can call me Twinkles, all my friends do, I personally thinks it's the twinkle in my eye." Twinkles walked around Malik with his wrist bent, finger pointed, and his other arm across his chest as he examined the Egyptian, stopping behind him, "I have the perfect selection for you. Firm up the buttocks, give the appearance of tight Abs."

"What are you doing?" Malik asked suspiciously after glancing behind him out of the corner of his eye, only to find the man staring at his ass.

"I'm just confirming your assets." Twinkles explained, "I've got it!" He exclaimed and disappeared behind a curtain. He returned seconds later and handed Malik a bundle of clothes, then pushed him behind the curtain, "try these on!"

5 Minutes Later------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't think…. this is….err….umm….this definitely isn't what I was looking for." Malik said as he emerged from behind the curtain wearing a leopard print Speedo with beaded fringes on the back around the butt.

"When I looked at these and thought of your tiny tush, I knew this would be the perfect fit! Your boyfriend would love it!… Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Uh…. Yeah…umm…he's…err…away!" Malik stuttered. Lying, he figured, was much safer because he certainly didn't want this guy hanging all over him, he felt violated enough with that guy gawking at him and staring at his ass.

"That reminds me, I can get these in matching sets for you and your significant other." Twinkles suggested.

""Look man, I need to make a statement. When my men walk in, people need to turn around and say, 'Look at them they mean business.'" Malik said, hoping to clear a few things up.

"Kinda like this ain't no Disco, this ain't no foolin' around. Is that what your going for?" Twinkles asked, making various Elvis poses.

"Err…Yeah, I guess." Malik agreed and Twinkles once again disappeared behind the curtain.

Rishid took this opportunity to move from his spot against the door and whispered to Malik, "Can't we just go to Wal-Mart?"

Malik sighed and shook his head, "Already tried, but they didn't have the different sizes we need, excepts for some department called lingerie, they were pretty, but I just wasn't feeling it." Rishid returned to his previous spot as Twinkles returned and handed Malik another outfit.

When Malik came out from behind the curtain, he was wearing what looked like Dracula's cape, with black velvet on the outside and red satin lining, a high collar up to his ears and a button at the neck, "I think this is a bit too Nasferatu." Malik mumbled, looking down at the outfit, only to be pushed behind the curtain again.

When Malik emerged from the curtain for the 3rd time that day, he was wearing Zebra skinned chaps and Alligator skinned boots with a cowboy hat."

"Now to me this says: I'm a little dangerous, I'm a little on edge. Have you ever seen Crocodile Dun Dee? It's my favorite movie. Paul Hogan in tight jeans, Mmm!" Twinkles said, walking around Malik again.

"That's nice but I'm really looking for something…. Less country hick trailer trash-like…"Malik grumbled, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

"Do you enjoy participating in leisure activities? Sports, perhaps?" Twinkles asked.

"Yeah, ok. Whatever! Love it! Do it all the time! Can you bring us something else to look at?" Malik practically yelled.

"Of course!" Twinkles said and quickly ran over to a shelf and grabbed a box, peeked inside, then thrust it into Malik's arms, "Here, try this."

Grumbling, Malik made his way to the changing area and came out a few minutes later wearing plaid golf pants, a pink v-necked sweater with a little alligator sewn on it, and a pale yellow button up collar shirt, complete with a golf hat.

"Now to me this says: I kick ass…On the golf coarse!" Twinkles exclaimed.

"I'm going to become the Pharaoh! Not a fucking golfer!" Malik yelled, loosing control of his temper.

"I cannot believe this escaped my attention!" Twinkles said as something dawned on him, "I'm not at the top of my game today! Looking at your long slender legs, your well-defined calf muscles…." His sentence became inaudible as he disappeared behind the curtain again.

"And once again he disappears behind the curtain, wonder what we'll get this time…"Malik complained to Rishid, rolling his eyes.

"This time, I decided to give you guys a treat and demonstrate on myself!" Twinkles yelled out as he reappeared from behind the curtain. He was wearing electric blue tights, blue and black stripped leotards, light blue leg warmers, and tights with stir-up bottoms, "Ok Shenelle! Turn off the light and turn on the ball!" he yelled out and the lights automatically went off, and a disco ball appeared, covering the room in multi-colored lights, "You strike me as someone with a little bit of madness." Twinkles said as Malik and Rishid stared at him, horror struck.

Twinkles then snapped his fingers and music began to play and he started to run in place really fast, singing, "He's a maniac! He's a maniac! I know, and he's dancin' like he's never danced before!" He then ran over to a small wooden chair and quickly sat down on it, toes pointed, back arched and he pulled a string hanging from the ceiling, that was dangling next to the chair, and a bucket of water splashed down onto him. Seconds later, the lights went out and then came back on to reveal Twinkles standing there, dressed normally, and completely dry.

"Well gentlemen," He said as a lady walked in, "It looks like our time together has come to an abrupt end. I've come to be very fond of you young lads, you remind me of myself at that age, blossoming like a beautiful Tulip, such possibilities, so many dreams." He grabbed something from his pocket and handed it to Malik, "Here's my number. Call me." He said, and with that said, he walked away.

"May I help you?" the woman asked.

"Can you show me something worth my time?" Malik asked, then proceeded to explain to the woman what, exactly, he was looking for.

"I've got just the thing." The lady said and disappeared, just like the man before her, behind the curtain, causing Malik to give Rishid a nervous glance, " How's this?" She asked when she returned, holding up a long purple robe.

Malik smirked, "Perfect. But it needs more gold." He said, then thought for a moment, "Can you add a small gold chain on the hood, and one on the chest part too. And also add an Egyptian Eye on the hood." He explained, "I'll need about, 20….maybe 30 of them."

"Of course." The woman said in much-to-friendly-for-Malik's-liking, voice.

ON THE BOAT:

"Is there something wrong, Master Malik?" Rishid asked when he noticed Malik grumbling to himself.

Malik tugged at his newly acquired robe, "Yes there's something wrong! It shrunk! That guy had a personal relationship with my buttocks, but he couldn't put some tags on the merchandise he was selling to warn us that it would shrink in the wash!"

The End!


End file.
